Panic stations, difficult conversations, pregnancy tests, stress, worry.....all to find that you are not pregnant?! But where has your period gone?
Missing or late periods are enough to strike fear in those of us who aren't ready to get pregnant, or don't want to be all together. The mind races, thinking: "I'm sure we used protection last time", or "did the condom break?" or "He pulled out way before he came, so it must be fine???" or "OMG, was I ovulating the last time we had sex?"
As well as the many physical reasons that our periods can go missing, I have started to realise that our emotional and mental health play a massive role too.
WHAT TYPES OF EMOTIONAL STRESS CAN CAUSE MY PERIOD TO GO MISSING?
Shock
Exhaustion
Grief
Post Traumatic Stress
Trauma
Abuse
Depression
Shame
Burnout
Mental/Emotional Breakdown
Holding on to past painful or traumatic events
Not letting yourself rest
Not acknowledging that you are unhappy
MY STORY
I'll tell you a bit about my story in hope that it helps you with yours. There have been 4 times in my life that my period has not shown up. Day 29 comes and goes, and I start counting the days off the calendar, day 30, 31, 32, 34, 37.... and with each day my heart rate starts to get a little bit faster and my mind starts to race with thoughts of un-planned babies, shame, guilt and fear. The first time this happened, I was living in a van and travelling around Portugal with my ex-partner. We had just been though a HUGE and very traumatic ending and decided we needed to hit the road for some headspace, healing and perspective. So, boarding the ferry from Portsmouth to Bilbao, I stood at the back of the boat watching the land disappear into the distance feeling absolutely nothing. Just a deadening numbness throughout my whole body and soul. Now I can look back and see that actually I was actually suffering with post traumatic stress and depression. My last period a few days before had been raging and excruciatingly painful which symbolised how I was feeling on the inside, having to let go of such a huge part of my life.
We travelled through Spain, France, the Basque Country and Portugal, but all the while with this feeling of numbness. I literally couldn't feel ANYTHING. Day 29 came again, and this time no period. I waited 5 days, still no period. At this point my mind is racing. By day 39 there was still no sign of my bleed, I had done a pregnancy test and it had come back negative.... so where the hell was my period??!
On day 40 I was walking along the beach and got stopped by a french woman and her daughter. The woman could see that I wasn't doing too well and invited me to accompany her and her daughter back to her house for a cuppa and some medicinal essential oils. Within half an hour of talking to her she had brought my awareness to my womb and was teaching me deep truths, wisdom and insights about my body, yoni and femininity - things that I had been yearning to learn about ever since the trip started. She gave me oils, yoni steam herbs, hugs and love. She held space for me, listened to me and acknowledged my journey and pain. And when we were done she gently sent me back out into the balmy Portuguese evening to wander back along the beach to our beautiful little van. I felt a huge shift, like I had genuinely connected to my body and womb on a profoundly deep level. By the time I had walked back to the van, my period had started and the release I felt was so incredibly powerful.
I can now see that my lack of period was my body and womb protesting. They needed me to tune in and connect to my Self, to give myself permission to let go of all the pain and trauma, and to REST. This was the first time I had ever experienced a missing period. I have experienced it a few times since when I have been going through a particularly stressful or traumatic time, or when I have been disregarding my body and emotions. My womb just holts and literally will not bleed until I have slowed down, reconnected and given myself permission to SURRENDER. Surrender is the most powerful and potent word when it comes to your menstrual bleed. To let go of all that you have been holding on to, to open up and accept whatever will come next, to hand over to the universe, to acknowledge your body and the divine feminine within. And, this method has worked for me EVERY SINGLE TIME.
YOUR BODY KNOWS...
Our bodies are so bloody clever. They know when it is safe to bleed and when it is not. They know when we have time to have a full bleed, and when we do not. I have noticed that if I don't slow down before my period, I am more likely to have cramping and a much lighter bleed - my body protesting and taking this information as a sign that it is not safe to fully let go. When I tune in and fully slow down in my pre-menstrual phase in preparation for my period, I often have a much heavier bleed with less pain and a deeper feeling of release. Another amazing and wonderful thing that your body and womb can do, is delay your period so that you bleed straight after an event or situation that you need to let go of.
LINKING UP TO THE MOON
Your period can also change to link up with a particular moon phase or sign. It can be really powerful to pay attention to the phase that the moon is in when your period starts, as well as the sign that the moon is in. This can give you juicy insights and wisdom for your cycle ahead. There was a period of time where my bleed would always come when the moon was in the sign of Leo - all about self expression, truth, self-confidence, creativity, beauty and pleasure. I did my best to work with these energies by writing and expressing myself on paper, treating my body with love and having deep and soulful expression with friends and loved ones :)
SO.... WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOUR PERIOD IS MISSING DUE TO EMOTIONAL REASONS? HOW CAN YOU GET IT BACK?
Here are a few ideas or suggestions of tools I have used to relax my body, connect to my womb and coax my period back.....
Womb Connection Meditation - finding a guided visualisation online that can help you connect to your womb and surrender, is a really great way to bring awareness to this area and begin a release.
Yoni Steaming - steaming with herbs can help your womb to begin her cleanse and can really help with any menstrual health issues or reproductive pathologies too. Make sure you buy herbs from an experienced practitioner to make sure the herbs you are using are safe for your body. Please Contact Me for more information or for a Yoni Steam Consultation.
Womb and Menstrual Massage - this can really help to relax you, bring you into your body and connect you to your womb. Physically the massage increases circulation, relaxes tight ligaments and tendons and can stimulate your bleed to start in a natural way.
Affirmations - writing affirmations that can help you with surrender, letting go and honouring your body are really effective. Try to write your own that are personal to you and stick them up around your house where you can see and read them out loud regularly.
Letting Go Ceremony - writing a list of things that you wish to let go of with your period and ceremonially burning it on the evening before your bleed is due, is a really powerful way of letting go and preparing to rest. Try reading the list out loud 3 times, really embodying the release of each thing, and then burn it outside or in a fire place.
Journalling - this can be a very therapeutic way to get your thoughts and feelings out on paper to be acknowledged and let go. Making this a regular practice is so powerful.
Essential Oil Bath - creating time to rest in the bath can be super nourishing and restorative. Choose essential oils that you feel drawn to, mix with a carrier oil and add to your bath for a long soak. You can also add magnesium bath salts too, excellent for relaxing muscles and cramping.
Creating Space and Time to Bleed - changing your appointments, not making any social arrangements, turning your phone off, making sure you have easy and nourishing food ready, creating a den, planning movies to watch or books to read, buying yourself chocolate... anything that can create space for you and give you time to rest.
Saying NO and Honouring Your Need For Rest - being able to put yourself first and say NO is one of the most potent and powerful medicine for yourself as a woman. Say no to things that don't honour your need for rest, space and introspection.
Find Inspirational Books with Self-Care Tools
"Sacred Self Care - Everyday Rituals for a More Joyful and Meaningful Life" - By Chloe Isidora
This book is a really amazing tool for self-care and connecting to yourself as a woman. With visualisations, meditations, rituals, journal prompts, recipes and more... I recommend this book to all of my clients!
Contact Me - if you feel like you still need further guidance or support please contact me for a phone or in-person consultation. You can contact me here. x
Thank you so much for reading
All My Love
Isla Rose x x
PLEASE NOTE: There are also many physical and medical reasons why your period may be late or missing, so please always seek the advice of a professional or doctor if you experience any symptoms. This blog post is just to open our eyes to the strong emotional connection between our menstrual cycles, wombs and bodies as another form of medicine for us as women.